Monday, March 4

Oh, you don't have a trampoline?

This is meant as a light hearted way of showing you some ways of how not to get your work in the shop (please don't get offended - and please don't bring a trampoline down!)

please do the following:-

  1. Ensure you arrive in the middle of a busy craft fair day with 6 boxes and then place them in the middle of the floor and proceed to empty bubble wrap in the shop
  2. Bring a random selection of photos on your phone including one of the cat's birthday party and your Uncle Graham trampolining
  3. Ensure that you have accidentally brought the box containing your daughter's costume for her school play and left your samples with her head teacher
  4. You must at all times place yourself in the most awkward position to ensure the most customers are blocked from travelling around the shop
  5. You must at all times restrict our ability to make a sale while continuing to hunt for the photo of your current work while admiring Uncle Graham's skill at trampolining
  6. Guess a random figure for the sale price of your work - please make sure this is completely fictious and has no logic behind it
  7. Be offended that we have already stocked similar work and that we had made no effort to seek you out beforehand
  8. Be offended that we do not have a trampoline to entertain your 6 children that are playing paintball in the shop
  9. Tell us that you tried to come down but we were closed, and that you have tried several times but we are always closed on the Monday which is the only day you can get there yet make no contact with us so we remain clueless about you trying to visit
  10. Bring Uncle Graham's trampoline and tut loudly that we don't have the space to put it up, while collecting the 6 paintballing offspring who have just created an amazing mural which actually is rather good so we'll keep the mural, but not the trampoline if that's ok?